Pregnancy Makes Everything....

Truth, pregnancy makes everything kind of foggy! I can't believe I haven't posted in over two weeks. Since I can blame it on pregnancy I suppose now would be a good time to talk about babywearing while pregnant!

You Shouldn't Lift That

This is one of the most common lines that I hear right now. I'm only 21 weeks pregnant but once you start growing a little person everyone assumes that you are basically useless. I keep reminding everyone that I have a toddler. That means I have to pick up at least one little cutie who is over 25 pounds on a regular basis and I don't really get a choice about it. Sometimes I would prefer not to have to hold her but she is a toddler and demanding at time. I prefer my sanity. So, a few tips for babywearing while pregnant. 

Choose Comfort

Seems simple right? Well, if you don't have a lot of choices in terms of carrier options this may not be as easy as it sounds for you but there are some modifications that you can do with carriers to help out a little. My first trimester I preferred to carry with a wrap because I HATED anything around my belly. With a wrap, I would tie off around my chest and avoid most pressure on my belly. With a wrap I can also use multiple layer carriers so there is more support for my shoulders and chest since all the weight is resting on that area. My preferred wrap at this stage was actually a double hammock with a candy cane chest belt. Just so comfortable. Now that I'm well into my second trimester I can switch it up a little more. I have always preferred to do a high back carry in buckle or mei tais. This works on my favor with pregnancy because you either have to wear really low or really high. I'm used to wearing high so this is the route I go and it works wonderfully. Curious about how I do this? You are in luck because I just made a video in conjunction with my local babywearing group showing 5 ways to get your baby on your back in a buckle carrier and it's all using a high back carry while 20 weeks pregnant! You can view the video here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFFYzwrTdtY. 

Know Your Limits

Now, I like to push things to the edge as much as the next person. However, you also need to listen to your body when it's telling you enough is enough. Pretty quickly in my pregnancy I learned that front carries were a no go anymore. I can do a hip carry for a short time but when I have a large toddler on my front even without the belly showing yet I could really feel it on my back. It was very uncomfortable and so I just don't do front carries right now. I did go for a really long walk the other day with Hannah on my back. I'm not going to lie, I know it was good exercise for me and I took it slow but I was dead by the time I got back. So, another note to self, don't go for 1.5 long walks by yourself in case you can't make it back. I did but I took a nap right after and wasn't sore at all so I know it was fine but I wouldn't push myself any more at this point. Just know when to call it quits is all I'm saying. You may be taking care of the baby on the outside but you also have to take care of the baby on the inside as well.

Let Others Help

Probably one of the hardest things to do at any time is let other people help you. However, I try really hard to rely more on my husband and let him wear Hannah when we are out and about or use the stroller when we are walking vs wearing her during a walk. I LOVE the closeness of babywearing but I also love feeling ok and not being in pain. So, I try to limit my babywearing more than I would like at this point. Do I still babywear on a regular basis, yes. Do I do a lot of physical activity while babywearing, no. Since we are at the stage of wanting to go all the time as well, I take the opportunity to have as many outings and play dates with friends as I possibly can so that Hannah isn't as needy at home and is super tired out when we are home. This has helped as well and although it may not be the traditional help you are thinking of these friends are still saving my sanity because I don't have to sit and watch or play with Hannah all day and I get to spend a little time having some adult conversation while the kids are playing.

What Have We Been Up To?

Well, it's been a while since we updated so here is what has been happening. We got the first and only ultrasound of the baby. It's so different the second time around because it doesn't feel as alien. We almost

caved this time and found out the gender but luckily we held strong and are now proud parents of who knows what! I think it makes the process even that more fun with a huge surprise to look for at the end. I have had to draw some clear boundaries at work so I'm not super stressed out. That also includes drawing boundaries on my sewing business. I have stopped taking large custom orders and am just sewing as I can which is a lot less than before but again, I have been trying to be good at focusing on taking care of myself and my family first. 

I have been pretty involved in the babywearing community as well lately and am taking the opportunity while I can go to events and play with all the pretty carriers. I have had the luxury of playing with some crazy epic high end wraps as well as help new moms out on the fly. Yesterday we took pictures of most of the library carriers for our chapter which was fun, crazy and exhausting. 

Our house is back to being a complete disaster because we have been spending so much time being gone. As a mom, I have worked really hard at letting this expectation go that I can be perfect in all areas of my life. I do become super guilty a lot but I still try to not let it get me down or stress me out that the dishes aren't done or that I can't see the floor because of all the toys and unfolded clean clothes there. 

We also got back my brothers wedding pictures! So awesome. Although I do love my brother and his wedding was fun, I cherish the pictures that we get as a family, especially when it involves babywearing. So I wanted to share a few of those as well since I can't get enough of them. 

Oh and one more update, you should not be able to leave comments below as I changed the privacy settings so leave me some love! Hope your weekend is starting off well!!!

NO Fun to be Sick!

Everyone knows that being sick stinks. A lot. And when you have a baby it stinks in more than one aspect usually. However, babywearing can help you get through these tough times. When my child is sick she wants nothing more than to be held. She wants to be held all the time, all day long. I don't blame her because I want that too but we all know I'm too big to be held by my momma all day when I'm sick. Not to mention, my mom is a go-er and I'm positive that having to sit around all day would drive her bonkers. And even if you aren't one of those personalities, the world doesn't stop even though your child is sick and food still needs to be made, animals still need to be taken care of and on and on and on.

Sick baby

So the great thing about babywearing while you have a sick baby is that you can actually get those things done and give your child the attention they desperately want and deserve when they aren't feeling their best.
It means for the parent or caregiver that you don't have to feel guilty about not being there for your child because you have other things to get done. You can do both! The other thing that happens when my child is sick is that they want to nap on me. And guess what, that's ok because she can nap and I can still get things done. If I need to go to the store I don't feel horrible that she is touching everything and making everyone else sick because she isn't touching anything but me and my carrier. So I'm saving everyone else too!

Sick mommy

But what if you are sick?!? Well, babywearing can help with that too and in fact I am currently dealing with being sick with allergies and 18 weeks pregnant with a toddler who appears to have allergy issues but is still on the go AND being needy at the same time. So here I am, congested like no other, short of breath and just want to lay down. However, I don't get the option to lay down because I have a toddler and that is just how life is. Last night she was whiney and tired because she refused her nap during the day with daddy and I was left to fend for myself as my husband headed off to work. So instead of losing my cool and breaking down crying like I would have liked to do we bundled up and walked to the park. She settled in on my back, I let her down to play when we were there, she didn't want to play at all so she went back up and I socialized with other moms at the park while she hung out on my back. Was it my first choice of how I wanted to spend my evening? Of course not but it was sure better than the alternative and it was a babywearing win for me because I also go to talk to other moms about babywearing AND about CASA which is a program close to my heart.

What Have we Been up to?

Speaking of being sick, that's why you haven't seen me posting as much. These allergies have been a slow burn in our life and are finally taking a toll on me. I'm currently working through my craft/business closet to get some things sewn and out of the door so I can destash and have been busy taking care of myself and my toddler both of whom are not feeling up to par. We did have a play date about a week ago that I have to tell you about though. 

Teaching babywearing comes with the perk of cuddling
babies and showing off sleepy dust!

I have a friend who actually gifted me my first babywearing item, a moby wrap, when I was pregnant with Hannah. She was my go to mom for everything because her baby was about 10 months older than mine so I could ask her about things she had been through and I had no clue about. We all need one of these friends. So as her babywearing journey was short lived mine was just starting. I went to the local babywearing group when Hannah was about 4 months old for the first time and I was off and running. Now over a year later she is on to baby number 2 with a toddler running around and I have been hounding her about babywearing and the amazing things that it can do for your crazy life. We have attempted a few babywearing focused play dates but this girl is busy and watches kids during the day too so it can be hard to have extended focus. Well, we finally accomplished it and I sent her away with three different carriers of mine to try out and see what she liked. The awesome part for me is that initially we talked about why I have so many different carriers and the fact that you don't NEED them all but that it's like buying shoes, you can have just one pair but who wants just one pair when they are both function and cute. She has been a quick convert after finding the right carrier for her and that has been the issue in the past, the carriers she has been using were uncomfortable and therefore I don't blame her for not sticking with it. I wouldn't have either. I may have watched her jump into the black hole of woven wraps after our play date but I'm honestly so excited that she has found something that works for her family and for her back so that she can have some hands free for her toddler and take care of her adorable little girl.
We also had a babywearing meeting to attend right after the play date and I rented a carrier for both of us to try out with our kiddos. My friend hasn't had a chance to try it out at all because we haven't been able to get together yet but I'm sold on the lillebaby! It's amazing and even as a plus size mom who is preggo, I love it with my toddler. It is comfy and it fits her great although this picture doesn't do the best at demonstrating that. I'm thinking about doing another plus size review on this carrier, what do you think?

We LOVE the lillebaby

Baby Slow Down!!!

Let's take a little hiatus from talking about babywearing. Ok, I'm still going to talk about babywearing some but this post has another topic as it's basis. Our babies growing up! I hear all the time in the babywearing community this idea that once your baby is off and running that you will no longer babywear. It's like your child is going to hit this major milestone and they are no longer going to want to be close to you and be held or snuggled. OR, that your child is going to turn into a toddler and automatically sleep amazingly. As if one night it's just going to click and they are going to decide they don't need your kisses in the middle of the night to calm them in the dark. Or how about a topic that is even closer to my heart than babywearing, feeding your baby! My child is formula fed so I kept hearing the expectation that as soon as my child turned one she would automatically switch from formula to cows milk. For what it's worth, I reject all of those ideas, especially the last one and let me talk a little more on the last one since it's pretty close to my heart.

Formula can be touted as an evil processed substitute to beautiful and creamy mother's milk. Well guess what, my child is formula fed and she is just fine. I didn't choose this route but it happened. When that 12 month mark loomed in my future and I heard other moms talk about the switch I panicked! I worked really hard emotionally to get to a place where I wasn't constantly feeling guilty or imagining a world where I had been able to continue breastfeeding well into toddlerhood. And now, I was going to have to face another emotionally charged change for both me and my child because taking her off formula meant she was getting big! And not only that, she loves her formula! So, it wasn't about to be an easy transition. However, here is what happened. I realized that my baby is still my baby. We choose to reject society's expectation that my child wasn't a baby anymore once she hit that magical mark of one year old. I started asking the question, if it can be normal for moms to continue to breastfeed, why can't it be normal for me to continue to let my child continue drinking formula from a bottle. And it can be. I don't feel guilty about it and I recognize this decision wasn't all about her but also about me. My child happily takes her organic cows milk as she is running around but before bedtime she wants her bottle with her formula. And I'm ok with that for now. She is able to slowly make that transition herself without me pushing her because someone out there has made it the normal thing to do.

This is how we function as parents in general. Our motto is "why make things hard when they don't have to be". It's been true for transitioning to food, to cows milk, from bed sharing to sleeping in her own room, from the crib to the toddler bed and for babywearing! It works for us. It also allows is to cherish those moments that won't be there forever. It makes transitions so much easier because we wait until she tells us it's time for a change and then, we change!

And all of these words to tell you, let your baby be a baby. Don't make them grow up too fast because you will never get that time with them back. Your baby will eventually not want to be rocked and cuddled and will at some point grow up and move out to have their own babies. Enjoy the time sitting on the floor playing silly games. Enjoy the sick baby snuggles. Enjoy the goofy pacifiers if it keeps them calm. Reject the "normal" if it doesn't work for you. Do what is best for your family and stop feeling so guilty about everything. Stop second guessing your parenting decisions and slow down and enjoy the moment. Stop wasting those precious moments defending your decisions to do what is best for your baby and just do what is best for your baby and live it! Embrace it! Embrace your child and your family and stop putting timelines on everything from the tiny to the huge. Make your own decisions for you and your child and it will all turn out ok!